I'M BACK!

I survived a week of hellish strep throat, a full week in bed for me, pre-empted by a full two weeks of fighting off depression symptoms, feelings of total despair & anxiety, wanting to run away, not caring about anything and then I looked at myself in the mirror & said, "HELLO?? You live in a world where there are so many things out there to help you! You don't have to feel like this! You know what's going on! FIX IT MARIA!" So, I made an appointment at the doctor & she was GREAT! One of the best doctors I have had under the military medical system in a very long time & thanks to the power of modern medicine, a good doctor, my amazingly understanding husband and answered prayers - I AM BACK & FEELING SO MUCH BETTER!! I have a lot of things on my mind that I want to share with all of you, so keep checking back this week for hopefully some good posts from the Madness of Maria!

10 INCREDIBLE YEARS!

Mark & I celebrated our 10th anniversary yesterday, Friday, May 23, 2008. We married in the afternoon of May 23, 1998 in Holland, Michigan surrounded by friends and family. It was a perfect day and so was yesterday. I cannot believe how madly in love I am with this great man. As most know, we already took our backpacking trip which was to celebrate our 10 years of adventure together, but we also had to do something to signify the actual day of our anniversary. Well, much to my displeasure I spent the ENTIRE week laying in bed very, very ill with aggravated strep throat. Yes, not just strep throat, but aggravated strep throat. BUT! On Friday, with really good pain pills & a full 24 hours + of antibiotics in my system I was able to get up out of bed, make myself look presentable, and clean the house a bit to surprise Mark when he got home from work. I didn't have the time or energy to get him a gift, so I cleaned up his armoire by refolding all the clothes and reorganizing them. To you my love, I give you the gift of cleanliness. What did he get me? A beautiful bouquet of flowers and a freakin' Citizen watch & bracelet! Way to show me up honey!! But, a girl's never going to complain about jewelry!! And I'm pretty sure my husband would never complain about a clean house. Happy TENTH!

There is so much I want to say.....

There really is so much I want to share with all of you. There is so much in my mind right now, floating through, racing through, standing still. There is so much I wish I could put into words, alas, I cannot. I have hit a stump & I must find the quickest & least painful way to move over it. This will take help from outside sources. This will take time. Hopefully, I'll be back, up & running at my normal speed in no time at all. Hang in there with me & thanks for missing me. I appreciate that. During hard times, you need to know you are loved & thought of. You guys are the best! I'll be back just as soon as I can!!

Me vs. Wal-Mart

Days I have not shopped at

Wal-Mart:

16 and counting

Shopping Trips I have made elsewhere, thus avoiding Wal-Mart completely:

4

People who have been brave enough

to take up my cause along with me & found happiness in other stores:

2

Threats I have received for trying to smear Wal-Mart's name:

1 (from my husband, who mentioned that men in black suits might start watching us outside our house or even become so angered by my cause that they could even come & take me away & force me to shop at a Wal-Mart – hahahaha)

Where to spend your free money from the government.

Thanks to Jean, my dear, dear friend who forwarded this little e-mail to me. I quite enjoyed it & just had to share since I am a BIG GARAGE SALE SHOPPER! (Side notes were added by yours truly of course.)

How to use Your IRS Rebate check;

As you may have heard, the Bush Administration said each of us would get a rebate check to stimulate the economy.
If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China. (And you already know I'm not shopping there!!)
If we spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs, (I'd stop buying gas if I could too.)
If we purchase a computer it will go to India, (I hate my computer, but it still gets me on the web, so unless it blows up I'll keep it.)
If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala, (Fruit is still too expensive, plus my fruit munching daughter, Isabelle, always eats it before I can even think about eating it!)
If we purchase a good car it will go to Japan, (I love my Chevy & will drive it until it dies.)
If we purchase useless stuff it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America. The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it at GARAGE SALES, since those are the only businesses still in the US. (AMEN BROTHER!)

Ending on a good note.

All my favorite shows are back on & since they are all offered for free online, I watch them whenever I can fit it in, mostly in the wee hours of the morning when I can't sleep & along with some really great cookies & a tall glass of milk & even a couple of good quotes to end my day, I'd say I'm off to a good start for tomorrow......or today........whatever it is right now.

Be the one who sees with Cheerful Eyes!
~Strawberry Shortcake

Fantasy is nice, but we live in reality & it can't be perfect, but it can be pretty good.
~Gio from Gio's Deli

I just need a moment.

I've complained & whined to the people I can one too many times this week. I'm sure they've tired of hearing my voice a long time ago. I'm even tired of hearing myself. I don't even want to hear myself talk in my head these days. And guess what? Yep, life isn't always cheery & pleasant & wonderful & sweet & easy. Sometimes, it's rough & tiring & overwhelming & depressing & never-ending. And what angers me even more is that my trials seem to coincide with the beauty & newness of spring, which is a blessing & a curse. It's a blessing because whenever I take the time to be outside it seems to wash away whatever bad mood I've developed that day, the curse part is that I don't want to go back inside to face my real job!

I know throughout my 31 years of life I have been overly blessed, beyond measure, with healthy, beautiful children & 5 of them in fact. But there are days I let it get the best of me & I cry & wonder why? Why did I ever think it was okay to have another baby? Why didn't I just run with the life I already had? I could sleep in whenever I wanted, all the kids knew how to go to bed on time & stay asleep the entire night. All the kids knew how to make their own cereal in the morning, dress themselves & even bathe themselves! They knew how to help with chores whenever Mom needed it most & although they sass & talk back & argue with each other occasionally, they were just as much fun as they were frustration. Why did I have to take all of that away? And then I start to get upset because I think about how much easier it would have been with just one baby? And everytime Mark sees me get that look in my eyes, he will turn to me & ask, "But which one would you have chosen to stay & which one would you have chosen to come here?" and then I feel like scum of the earth for even thinking about how difficult it is with one baby. And I think of those people who can't have children & those who were given special children with needs even greater than my own two little ones & I feel horrible for not being thankful for mine & I feel mad for being given what I didn't ask for, but Mark is right - I could never choose between them, okay, at certain times I could, like when Grant slept for 9 hours the other night & Daphne woke up 4 times to eat in 8 hours, but generally, I could never choose. :)

I know I'm not depressed because I can still find reason to smile. I can still find reasons to laugh & want to do fun things. I have only lost my motivation, misplaced my cheerful mood & optimistic outlook. I have only for the time being lost my desire to do well around the house. I have only for a moment forgotten how to push through the hard times to see the sunshine on the other side.

The worst part of all this....I don't think anyone can help me. I can only help myself. I don't think anyone can come in & do my laundry or my dishes, take care of the babies for a couple of hours or cook dinner for me & make it any better. The only thing that does is prolong what I have to face on my own when they are gone. This is something I have to tackle on my own but it's proving ever so hard to face the task.

So, I think of all the things I have survived before. Losing my job at 6 months of pregnancy & having to move in with my parents. Seeing my husband join the military because after getting a college degree the job market could not support our new life as a young married, in debt couple with a new baby. Seeing my husband deployed for 6 months while I was pregnant with our second child, our first son. Seeing my husband go off to war & for weeks, up to a month not hearing his voice & 24/7 watching the news, praying I wouldn't see 3rd ID mentioned in anything negative, my heart stopping at every phone call or knock on the door. Giving birth to our third child 5 days after my husband left to war & raising 3 young children, ages 3, 15 months & newborn, all on my own for almost 9 months. Moving to Germany so very far away from family a mere 15 months after we had just moved from one place to another. Saying goodbye to my husband again to send him off to war for 12 months which turned into 15 months while I too was in a foreign country, feeling terribly alone. My pregnancy with the twins. I survived that too & it was gosh darn hard!! SO SEE MARIA! YOU CAN CONQUER ANYTHING! LOOK AT ALL YOU HAVE SURVIVED & OVERCOME ONLY TO BECOME A BETTER PERSON! REMEMBER THE PEOPLE WHO HELPED YOU THROUGH ALL THIS, YOUR DEAREST FRIENDS, YOUR FAMILY! (I'm yelling at myself, being my own cheerleader, right?)

It's just another notch in my belt to be a mother of twins, to be a mother of five, to be a military wife, to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but why does it feel like I'm making those notches in my belt with a really, really, really dull hole punch?

Indiana Woman, Oldest Known Person, Turns 115 on Sunday

Maybe it was a lifetime of chores on the family farm that accounts for Edna Parker's long life. Or maybe just good genes explain why the world's oldest known person will turn 115 on Sunday, defying staggering odds.

Only 75 living people — 64 women and 11 men — are 110 or older, according to the Gerontology Research Group of Inglewood, Calif., which verifies reports of extreme ages.

Scientists who study longevity hope Parker and others who live to 110 or beyond — they're called supercentenarians — can help solve the mystery of extreme longevity.

"We don't know why she's lived so long," said Don Parker, her 59-year-old grandson. "But she's never been a worrier and she's always been a thin person, so maybe that has something to do with it."

On Friday, Edna Parker laughed and smiled as relatives and guests released 115 balloons into sunny skies outside her nursing home. Dressed in pearls, a blue and white polka dot dress and new white shoes, she clutched a red rose during the festivities.

Only 75 living people — 64 women and 11 men — are 110 or older, according to the Gerontology Research Group of Inglewood, Calif., which verifies reports of extreme ages.

A widow since her husband, Earl, died in 1938 of a heart attack, Parker lived alone in their farmhouse until age 100, when she moved into her son Clifford's home. She cheated death a few months later.

Her room at the Heritage House Convalescent Center in Shelbyville, Ind., about 25 miles southeast of Indianapolis, is adorned with teddy bears and photos of her five grandchildren, 13 great-grandchildren and 13 great-great grandchildren. She's outlived her two sons, Clifford and Earl Jr.

Her two sisters also are deceased. Georgia lived to be 99, while her sister Opal was 88 when she died.

Parker's long-lived sisters are typical of other centenarians, according to Dr. Nir Barzilai, director of the Albert Einstein College of Medicine's Institute for Aging Research in New York. Nearly all of them have a sister, mother or other relative who lived a long life, he said.

"Longevity is in the family history," Barzilai said.

He and other scientists have found several genetic mutations in centenarians that may play a role in either slowing the aging process or boosting resistance to age-related diseases.

Perls said the secret to a long life is now believed to be a mix of genetics and environmental factors such as health habits. He said his research on about 1,500 centenarians hints at another factor that may protect people from illnesses such as heart attacks and stroke — they appear not to dwell on stressful events.

"They seem to manage their stress better than the rest of us," he said.

My thoughts:

1. Why does she have 5 grandchildren, 13 great-grandchildren & 13 great-great grandchildren & not one of them can seem to care for her so instead they put her in a nursing home??
   
2. Where can I get some of these special genes?
   
3. Do I really want special genes? Do I want to live that long?
   
4. Does she give "How to live a stress free life" classes? If so, I am signing up TODAY!
   
5. She's been a widow & living alone since 1938!!!! Is this how she stayed worry free???? How do you do that? Maybe my anti-socialism will pay off eventually.
   

 

Today I almost....

Today I almost yelled at my kids that I was too tired to care.

Today I almost yelled at myself for being so lazy.

Today I almost posted on my blog that twins were too difficult to take care of by myself.

Today I almost wanted to just hide in my room and cry for a while.

Today I almost didn't watch this video..........

http://www.ignitermedia.com/products/iv/singles/570/99-Balloons

Today I was reminded what a blessing my two babies are.

Today I kissed all my children and told them how lucky I was to be their mother.

Today I thanked my Heavenly Father for making my life so easy and so wonderful.

How Long Can I go without shopping at Wal-Mart?

I loathe Wal-Mart. I loathe just about everything about it. I don't like that you go there with a list of 3 things & come out with 20 or more. I don't like that they take over a town & just about every small town store that serviced people before goes out of business around them. I don't like that, like in the commercials, there is never anyone to help you and if you do by chance find someone, they don't know how to help you. The people, the parking, I could go on and on and on. My most recent experience went something like this.....

Since my mom doesn't live with us anymore, I have to get creative about when I can go shopping in a hurry on my own. So, Mark had gotten home later than usual from work, I scarfed down dinner & blew him a kiss as I dumped the kids in his lap and set out to buy formula and milk, which we desperately needed at this point. The babies had drank their last bottles and I had about 2 hours before things were going to get hairy.

So, after much debate, I choose to go to Wal-Mart because they stay open late and GameStop was right beside them and I needed to go there too. So, I go into Wal-Mart, grab a cart, dodge all the people standing in the express lane which is right by the door as you're trying to come into the store. I'm on a mission. Formula. Way in the back. This is the other thing I hate, having to walk so far for the one thing that I need to get. Lucky me, milk and eggs (which we also need) are way in the back too. I zoom my cart to the rear of the store and my mouth drops as I view 4 entirely EMPTY shelves of formula.

Not a can in sight. No where. WHAT?!?!?!? How can this be?!?!?! What has happened?!?!?!?! Where is all the BABY FORMULA? My next thought, what are other people doing, don't other people need formula? Why aren't there more people just standing around looking bewildered at this problem?

My next thought: Find a Friendly Wal-Mart Associate. Oh there she is, nice looking girl, on her way to the stockroom right beside the baby area.

"Miss, do you happen to know why you don't have any baby formula at all? None? Where has it all gone?" - I say very sweetly but with a touch of despair.

"I don't know! Come back at midnight, that's when they stock stuff," she says, blasting through that image I had of a nice, friendly, helpful Wal-Mart associate like they are on TV. Come back at midnight? Is she kidding me? Really? Did I just hear her say that and with that tone? And then she doesn' t even give me a second look and storms into the stockroom.

Okay, so maybe she had a bad day at work. Maybe, secretly, she hates Wal-Mart too and hates working there but it's the only job she can find and they're always open so she's guaranteed hours. I'm trying to be open minded. So, I choose to be mad at Wal-Mart, not the girl in particular, becuase maybe working there has hardened her, made her like that, what do I know?

So, I take the milk, eggs and baby cereal I already put in my cart and quicly put them all back and storm out of the store, muttering under my breath the entire time. I'm not going to buy stuff from a store that urks me so and I'm certainly not going to stand in line with everyone else only to get half of what I needed in the first place!! After my quick stop into GameStop, I'm down about an hour now & only have an hour left at 9:00 at night to find another store that's open.

See, we live in Vine Grove, a very small town, close to Radcliff, which isn't much bigger. We don't have a Kroger or a Safeway or an Albertson's that I know would be open later at night too. I just pray the Food Lion that is close to our house stays open after 9:00 and I pray the epidemic hasn't hit them and they too have no formula.

I see a cart boy outside, I pull up in a hurry and sweetly, once again, I always try to be kind to strangers, as a general rule..........."How late do you stay open?"

"11:00 pm, ma'am."

"That's FANTASTIC! Thank you."

"Well, you're quite welcome."

I'm already thrilled about how this is going. So, I go inside, grab a cart which is very old style, but I love it. The cart is high. I don't have to reach over to put things in or take things out, they're right at my height. I go to find milk, eggs, baby cereal. I'm leaving the formula for last out of fear. I walk down the aisle, I'm looking, I'm looking. NO FORMULA! What?!?!? Is this just a really, really, really bad dream? And as I'm standing there wondering what in the world I'm going to do next, a manager, A MANAGER with a nametag & a SMILE walks by & says ever so sweetly (my kind of man), "How can I help you young lady?"

Young lady! Did he really just say that? Young lady! WOW! This could turn out okay after all....

"I am desperate for baby formula. Do you happen to have some somewhere else in your store?"

"Why, of course! We keep it all up front & when you go to the register, just let the cashier know what kind you need and how much and she'll bring it right out to you."

"What? Are you kidding me? I just tell you what I need and you just bring it to me?" I'm thrilled about this because it's always quite a chore buying 20+ cans of formula, counting them out, putting them into the cart, taking them out at the register, you know the drill.

"Why thank you sir. You have saved the day!"

"You're very welcome. Please come back again soon."

"You better believe I will!" I shout as I race for the cash register. This is going too well, I want to get out of the store while it's still good and I can go home happy!!

I check out and as they are ringing up the formula, the register starts spitting out all these coupons. See, I get a lot of formula at one time so for every (x) number of cans, it not only gave me a $3.00 coupon to use on ANYTHING in the store on my next visit, but it also spit out a $3.00 off coupon for formula on my next visit and when all was said and done, I ended up with over $20.00 to use in the store and 6 coupons for $3.00 off formula when I buy it again.

So, I'm feeling friendly and happy and I share my story with the cashier about what happened at Wal-Mart and come to find out she has lived in Vine Grove all her life and in the past 5 years, she has not shopped at Wal-Mart one time and she says she has been living just wonderfully without it.

Can I do that? Can I really take on such a challenge? I think I can!!! It will require me to get creative. It will require me to do without. It will probably save me money. It will save me gas. Because when I thought about it, I have stores close to me that have the same things Wal-Mart has for just a few cents more, but I didn't have to drive far to get them so I'm probably coming out even. They still take my coupons. They are nicer to me and they are small town folk. I don't have to walk very far to get what I need and I, 9 times out of ten, got only what I needed on my list instead of 20 things I didn't really need. So, I've saved myself even more dough and even more clutter in my house. This could be quite the learning experience. So, let's just see how long I can go without shopping at Wal-Mart.

I Completely Agree.

Bill Calling for Castration of Sex Offenders Passes Louisiana Senate

BATON ROUGE, La. — The most serious sex crimes should be punishable by castration, with drugs or surgery, the Louisiana Senate voted on Tuesday.

The bill by Sen. Nick Gautreaux, D-Meaux, would give judges the option of imposing chemical castration on those convicted of sex crimes including aggravated rape, simple rape and indecent behavior with a juvenile. Chemical castration would be mandatory on second offenses, and the offender would have the option of choosing physical castration instead.

Senators voted 32-3 to send the measure to the House.

Chemical castration would involve treatment with the drug medroxyprogesterone acetate, with the aim of diminishing the offender's sexual impulses. Gautreaux amended the bill to add a provision that would bar such an offender from taking another substance — such as estrogen — that could counteract the effects of the castration drug.

The drug treatment would be mandatory on a second offense, though a medical expert would have to determine that the treatment would be effective.

Once ordered to undergo the treatment, the offender would have the option of physical castration — which Gautreaux said some offenders might prefer to avoid any drug side effects or in hopes of permanently curbing impulses that led to his offense.

Voting against the measure were Sens. Cheryl Gray, D-New Orleans, Robert Kostelka, R-West Monroe, and Derrick Shepherd, D-Marrero.

Also awaiting House debate is another Gautreaux bill that would prohibit sex offenders from wearing masks or costumes on most major holidays, and prohibit them from giving candy or other gifts to people younger than 18. The bill (Senate Bill 143) by Sen. Nick Gautreaux, D-Meaux, now goes to the House for debate. Violators could be jailed for a minimum of six months and a maximum of three years.

And it SMACKS ME AGAIN, that thing called LOVE!

Samantha Who? Have you seen it? Have you watched just one episode? I was hooked by Episode One & have thoroughly enjoyed every single episode since then. I just got done watching the newest episode, available online: http://dynamic.abc.go.com/streaming/landing?lid=ABCCOMGlobalMenu&lpos=FEP

And what was it about, none other than LOVE! And it had hot, hot, smoldering HOT!!! Timothy Olyphant in it, oh my gosh, you don't know who he is, WHAT I SAY?!?!?!?


Hair, no hair, he's hot either way! And he has a spot in this episode of Samantha Who & oh gosh, I was laughing, I was hoping, I was clenching my fingers to see what could possibly happen next! It was a superb episode & all less than 30 minutes!!! I can so handle that!

If you haven't caught the fever of Samantha Who - you SHOULD! Now off I go on the wings of love, love, love to clean, clean, clean!!

Aaaaaahhhhhhh, Love.....................

There are a lot of wonderful feelings we can & do experience as humans. Although some may be considered negative feelings, they are also wonderful because we have the ability to feel them, like fear or sadness, but also happiness, serenity, peace, comfort, joy, hope, so many to list, but love, oh, love. At times it can be undescribeable you feel it so strongly, it can work magic, it can make you silly, it can make you feel like you're not even yourself & today I was reminded on two different occasions how great an emotion love is & how thankful I am, as humans, that we can experience this thing called love.

I have a friend, a dear friend, who I e-mail almost on a daily basis. It's like a daily ritual, a habit, something that makes my day feel complete, to send off an e-mail full of thoughts or just everyday activities & to read great e-mails full of the same. And today, my friend shared this, "I love that man. Some of the things he says just make me laugh so hard. He knows exactly what to say to make me laugh. I just love it." I hope she doesn't get upset with me for sharing this with the world, but I figure since she's so in love, she won't mind sharing that fact with all of you, although I'm sharing it for her, hahaha. ANYWAY!

Then I clicked a link in a newsletter that led to another link that led to another, you know how it goes, but rarely does it lead to something I enjoy as much I did this one. A link about the World's Greatest Romantic led me to Princess Cruise Lines contest they recently had to find the World's Greatest Romantic & I took the time to view the winner's video & some of the finalists videos & in watching these couples, or at least one part of the couple, express their love & adoration for their companion; it just hit me how lucky we are to be human, to be able to search during our lives for people to love in so many different ways.

If you would like, here is the link to the videos from the top finalists. http://greatestromantic.princess.com/contest-vote.aspx?vid=2

And I wanted to give each of my blog readers a chance to share their love for someone special in their lives. Just a quip or two would be fine, just whatever hits you first. Mine..... "I love, loving that man of mine." I think it's a song, but it immediately bounced into my head when I thought about what fun it is to be in love with Mark. He too is a fantastic funny man & has made me giggle with glee & guffah until my sides hurt. It is an amazing feeling to love & laugh with someone so incredible.

I can't wait to read what you have to share!!

Do they make a bike for 6??

Gas prices. Need I say more?? I was reading an article yesterday trying to understand the complexities of the gas pricing world & it's impossible. Becuase I simply cannot understand how one gas station on the road can charge $3.19, but I go 10 miles down the road & a different gas station, could even be the same type of gas station & it's charging $3.45!! How can this be?!?!? And just the fact that gas prices have risen on average, $0.53 in the past year is unfathomable to me!!! And I realized while laying in bed this morning why gas prices continue to rise. BEACUSE WE ALL KEEP BUYING IT!!!!!!!!!! Those who can afford hybrid cars or cars with higher gas mileage, just switch cars & continue to drive them just as much as they drove their gas hogs. And those who can't afford new cars, get rid of other things before they cut back on their gas. If we continue to pay the monster corporations prices, of course they're going to continue raising them because they know we'll pay & if they can put the price high enough that we'll cut back, maybe then it will make a difference.

We can't afford a new car & we can't really cut back on other things since we already do that in every capacity we can, so I have cut down my driving to two days a week, storytime on Tuesdays & Music Makers on Thursdays & if I have errands to run I do them in the same part of town where I am at or I switch my errands to be run nearer to where I'll already be. I'm sure I could do more, but these two activities Isabelle LIVES FOR, so until she's in school, I indulge her. Otherwise, we'd drive once a week if I could help it. Mark drives his car to work but takes his bike & if he has to go somewhere on post, he will ride his bike instead of driving his car around. But, believe me, if they made a bike for 1 mom & 5 kids, I would be ALL OVER THAT! Imagine the exercise I would get from biking where I need to go!!


What have you done to make a change in your driving habits?

What?!?! No Reply?? (weak bloggers, beware)

I am an astonishingly busy person. I think a lot of us are. It doesn't matter if we have 1 kid, 10 kids or no kids at all just a full time job & a full time home to take care of, we are all busy in our own right. BUT! When I take the time out of my amazingly busy day to write you an e-mail, be it 10 words or 1,000 words, can you not take a moment out of your incredibly busy day to write back? To at least answer the questions I asked? Do you really feel okay with just leaving me hanging? Leaving me wondering what your response was to my questions? Did you just read the e-mail & casually hit that delete button never to think about it again? Did you not even care that I took the time to write you & ask questions that I sincerely wanted answers to? It doesn't even have to be the same day you got the e-mail, but AT LEAST within a week would be nice, it would be downright polite of you. When you call someone & you leave a message, don't you expect a call back? I know you do, so why don't you treat e-mailers with the same courtesy? The least you could do was write back one sentence, explaining how you are simply too busy to reply to my e-mail, but you'll keep it in your Inbox until you do have time to respond. Becuase you know what, I would really appreciate it. I took the time to communicate, please have the heart to respond.

**Description of a weak blogger: a person who chooses to read another person's blog & is easily upset by personal thoughts and/or opinions, often taking them personally & choosing to possibly write that certain blogger off their friend list or pass along how appalling that blog was to even be written. Blogs are merely a sounding board for gals like me who have a lot to put out there but no one that really wants to listen. Read at your own risk.

My Father's Wisdom

Right before my dad & mom left for New Mexico, my dad & I shared a conversation about dealing with life & letting go of your past. My dad has faced some pretty harsh challenges since losing his job last year & I have been amazed at his attitude & his ability to keep moving forward & to never talk about the things that happened as if they are roadblocks for him even now. I have been guilty of this until probably the last couple of years when I too came to the realization that my past does not define where I go in the future. Who I choose to be in the future & what I choose to do in the present is what defines me. Some may disagree, because some may feel that what has happened to them in the past is what made them who they are today & while I believe this to be true, I also believe we should not dwell on the negative things in our past & use them as crutches to explain who we are today. Because in most cases it only blames someone else for the path your life has taken. It only places blame on an incident or a person for shaping & molding you & how you make decisions & face life today. I try not to use the hardships I have endured in life, as crutches, only life lessons that I can keep to myself in time of need; when I need a reminder that I can conquer this hardship too.

For example, "I cannot commit to a relationship because 'such & such' happened to me once before," or "I don't want to get married or have children because 'such & such' happened to me when I was younger," or "I am this way because of what happened to me 'such & such' years ago." Who or what does it help to dwell on those things? Does it really help to overcome the challenges you face today, to say, I can't because of 'this'? Wouldn't it be so much more profound to say, I CAN because I overcame 'this'? Or not to even share it at all! This is what my dad was saying. A lot of people look at him & ask, "Why did you get into the trucking industry? You don't look the part," and he would reply, "I simply wanted to try something new or I needed a new way of life." He didn't go on for a while telling how he lost his job & his home & how he was downtrodden & burned by the manufacturing industry & just couldn't stand to go back because upper management felt he was no longer worth anything after 14 years of good hard work built on many, many more years of experience. How he was no longer wanted simply because he never got a college degree, so decided to try trucking."

He had always dreamed of going out on the road to see new things & travel to new areas, just to see what it's like & losing his job simply provided the outlet for him to do that, so why dwell on how he got there? He was using the events that unfolded over the past year as building blocks to a better life, a new life, not stumbling blocks to a life full of guilt, regret & blame.

I believe looking forward is the only way you'll get where you're going or even better, where you WANT to be.

6 Word Memoir

My fellow blogger, Gloria, challenged me to share a 6 word memoir. This is what immediately came to mind....

LIFE is never what you EXPECT.

Go ahead. Give it a try. Write your own 6 word memoir.

Spring Finds

Not only was I thrilled about the spring flowers I came upon yesterday, but also the spring finds I came upon today! I was out shopping for Mark's birthday which is this coming Sunday & I couldn't help but scoop up some of these delicious good deals for myself!

Found it at: American Eagle - they have GREAT clearance, especially online & when I spotted this white dress in just my size - OH MY! So feminine & light & airy. Can't wait for the perfect summer day to wear it with a slim pair of flats or flops. I'll have to add a colorful tee underneath or a white tank for modesty of course - but what fun! And a steal at $19.95.

Found it at: American Eagle - This has been my year to be conscious of what I do to help or harm the environment & I love tote bags - so this was a definite purchase for me! $14.95.


Found it at: The Gap (now an outlet store in our mall) - Every little boy looks so smashing in a sweater vest & loafers & now my little boy will have his very own set! The vest $5.40, the shoes $3.00.

Found it at: Michael's in the Easter clearance - this bright yellow basket is going to look perfect in the baby's room to hold their sweet smelling lotions & powders. Yummy! And only $5.20 on clearance!

Spring Flowers

I have to laugh at myself sometimes, I try so hard. I knew I had a rough day ahead of me. A day full of housework, deep, down dirty housework. So, how could I make it more fun for me? It started with an apron, the apron I bought in Paris, in a shop across from the Notre Dame. Then I turned on my Febreeze machine. That machine is amazing. It puts into the air scents I never even knew existed, but that make me feel oh so good about life. Get out the cleaning caddy. It's bright blue & stocked with my favorite cleaning supplies. If you're going to clean you might as well do it in style. Turn on music. I was feeling.......Mozart. I had gotten a free CD in the mail so figured it was a great time to try it out. Then I remember Mark mentioning something about flowers outside & I grabbed a pair of scissors & headed out to look for them. Lo & behold, in our very own yard, flowers someone else planted that ended up brightening my day in the most magnificent way. I picked out just the right vase for them out of my collection of pitchers & vases that I treasure & voila! A touch of spring to my housecleaning day. Perfect.

Michael's Store Coupon

http://sdm3.rm04.net/servlet/MailView?ms=MTUzMjY5NwS2&r=MTE2OTgxMDM1NTIS1&j=NDc1MzUzMTUS1&mt=1